April 2013 Newsletter
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Memorial Minute, George McCandlish
Healing & Reconciliation Annual Report
MONTHLY MEETING FOR WORSHIP WITH A CONCERN FOR BUSINESS
March 10, 2013
2013/1-1 Opening The meeting opened with silent worship at 12:20 PM. David Etheridge served as Presiding Clerk, Meg Greene as Alternate Clerk, and Hayden Wetzel as Recording Clerk. The clerks read a Query from Baltimore Yearly Meeting’s draft Faith and Practice, and appropriate advices and other readings. 28 Friends and visitors were present.
2013/3-2 Visitors The Clerk welcomed visitors James Sinclair and Danielle Spruance, and Annie White, all of Washington DC.
2013/3-3 Personal Concerns Friends were asked to hold in Divine Light our members Montague Kern and Daniel Dozier, who have been experiencing problems with their health.
2013/3-4 Memorial Minute for George McCandlish Friends approved a memorial minute (attached) for our member George McCandlish (who died in 1975), written by Marsha Holliday.
Jean Meyer Capps, co-clerk of the Membership Committee, presented the following membership matters; the second presentations were made by the Presiding Clerk.
2013/3-5 Membership of Katherine Brandt Friends approved the membership of Katherine Brandt, presented at last month’s meeting.
2013/3-6 Membership of Kimberly Acquaviva Friends approved the membership of Kimberly Acquaviva, presented at last month’s meeting.
2013/3-7 Associate Membership of Greyson Kendall Acquaviva Friends approved the associate membership of Greyson Kendall Acquaviva, son of Katherine Brandt and Kimberly Acquaviva
2013/3-8 Transfer In of Thomas Goodhue Friends approved the transfer into this Meeting from Ackworth Friends Meeting (Indianola, Iowa) of Thomas Goodhue; the transfer had been presented at the last meeting.
2013/3-9 Transfer Out of Nancy Beiter and Sidney Bixler Friends approved the transfer from this Meeting to Monadnock Monthly Meeting (Jaffrey, New Hampshire) of Nancy Beiter and Sidney Bixler.
2013/3-10 Resignation from Membership of David Wetzel Friends accepted the resignation from membership of our associate member David Wetzel.
2013/3-11 Resignation from Membership of Kathrin Gilbert Friends accepted the resignation from membership of our associate member Kathrin Gilbert.
2013/3-12 Termination of Membership of Elisabeth L. Brache Friends approved the termination of membership of Elisabeth L. Brache (proposed at last month’s meeting), with whom we have had no communication for the last four years and have no viable contact information.
2013/3-13 Termination of Membership of David Peters Friends approved the termination of membership of David Peters (proposed at last month’s meeting), with whom we have had no communication for the last four years and have no viable contact information.
2013/3-14 Termination of Membership of Tilda Redway Friends approved the termination of membership of Tilda Redway (proposed at last month’s meeting), with whom we have had no communication for the last four years and have no viable contact information.
2013/3-15 Termination of Membership of Sarah Lowe Tewksbury Friends approved the termination of membership of Sarah Lowe Tewksbury (proposed at last month’s meeting), with whom we have had no communication for the last four years and have no viable contact information.
Jean Meyer Capps urged all Friends to maintain contact with the Meeting.
2013/3/16 Request for Marriage of Danielle Spruance and James Sinclair Friends approved the marriage under care of the Meeting of Danielle Spruance and James Sinclair, which had been presented at last month’s meeting. The ceremony is planned for 2 November 2013. Friends also approved the Oversight Committee of Tess Amolsch, Misty Koper, Scott Eves, Ryan Dorman, Mary Lou Sinclair, and Susan Griffin.
2013/3-17 Annual Report of the Healing and Reconciliation Committee Merry Pearlstein, co-clerk of the Healing and Reconciliation Committee, gave the annual report of that committee (attached).The work of the committee, described in the written report, is confidential and cannot be discussed in detail.
2103/3-18 Report from the Youth Program Coordinator Windy Cooler, the Meeting’s Youth Program Coordinator, reported continuing progress in development of a cohesive First-Day School program. The teens have taken over the third-floor north room. Offsite activities for students have included a ski trip. Parents and other Friends held a very successful visioning meeting laying out the roles of children, families and First-Day School in our community. Provision of childcare for children older than 4 and the distribution of children between class age-groups remain continuing issues. Windy plans a teacher retreat. The report is attached.
2013/3-17 Report from the Finance and Stewardship Committee Jim Bell, clerk of the Finance and Stewardship Committee, reported on the number of members and attenders contributing financially to the Meeting. The committee currently predicts a shortfall of $33,000 in this year’s budget. The committee is studying trends in financial support by Friends and why Friends choose to donate or not donate funds. Friends discussed the nature and importance of financial support for the Meeting, of the sense of community we nurture, and of the need for an updated mission statement for the Meeting.
Olivia James, a member of the committee, spoke of the nature of stewardship in the Friends Meeting of Washington from a written personal statement (attached). She explained that stewardship entails the shepherding and use of resources given us by God and that Divine leadings must be our guide in the accumulation and disbursal of our funds and other resources. She urges us to let go of our private and temporal concerns in considering the Meeting’s resources to seek instead the management which God lays upon us. This is a discussion that engages all Friends of this Meeting, and which Friends expressed a desire to continue.
2013/3-19 Report from the Capital Improvements Task Force Neil Froemming, co-convener of the Capital Improvements Task Force, reported that architects are currently turning the general renovation plan for our property into practical working drawings, which have necessitated some minor changes. Much thought is being given to the layout of the back garden. Friends should review these plans soon and make comments before the process gets much further along. The Capital Campaign project continues planning and might begin actual fundraising in the next few months.
2013/3-20 Correction of Earlier Minutes Friends approved the Recording Clerk making corrections to two personal names in last month’s minutes.
2013/3-21 Closing The meeting ended at 1:20 with 29 Friends present, with silent worship.
Memorial Minute for George McCandlish
“Joyful” is the best word to describe George Edward McCandlish. With a twinkle in his eye and a bounce in his step, his life demonstrated a message he once gave in meeting for worship at Friends Meeting of Washington. On a cold day in January, with gloomy messages abounding, George told us that, although there are many serious problems in life, we must not let seriousness become joylessness. He pointed to the early Christians who suffered great difficulties; nonetheless, their writings demonstrate great joy.
George was born in Seattle, Washington in 1914. After attending Swarthmore, where he became a Quaker, George graduated from the University of Washington.
During WWII, George served in North Africa as an ambulance driver for the American Field Service. After the war, he was Executive Director of the United Nations Relief and Rehabilitation Administration in Germany. He spoke and read French, German, Italian, Latin, and Greek.
George earned his doctorate in American Civilization from Harvard University, where he was a member of the Cambridge Friends Meeting. He transferred his membership to Friends Meeting of Washington in 1967, when he moved to Washington, DC, as an Associate Professor of American Literature at the George Washington University. He became the chair of the Department in 1970 and a full professor in 1971.
Among his other adventures were a year spent studying theology at the University of Marburg in Germany, teaching as a fellow and editorial assistant at Harvard University, and teaching as a post-doctoral fellow at Brown University. He helped found the Cambridge, Massachusetts, Friends School and the Friends Meeting of Washington Quaker House. At the time of his death on May 19, 1975, he was clerk of the Friends Meeting of Washington Social Order Committee.
One of the memorable messages at his Memorial Service was from a fellow professor at George Washington University, who said that George never shirked from difficult problems at work. A travel minute for George, dated July 1972, said that “His sensitivity to social needs and his understanding of Quaker concerns and values has helped our Meeting seek appropriate expression of non-violent Quaker witness in this Capital city of our troubled country.”
George was a thoughtful and engaging teacher and an inspiration to his students. He was survived by his wife, Violet Brooks, three children, Joan, Brooks, and David, all members of Friends Meeting of Washington, and two sisters, Laurine Lawson and Virginia.
Healing and Reconciliation Committee
Annual Report – 3/10/2013
In 2010 the Meeting approved the Healing and Reconciliation Committee as a standing committee, described in the Handbook as follows:
The Healing and Reconciliation Committee consists of members of the FMW Community asked to respond immediately, or after an event or situation, to limit any hurtful behavior in Meeting-related settings and to initiate processes of healing and reconciliation. Through its interactions with individuals, the Committee complements efforts of the Ministry and Worship Committee, which gives special attention to the overall spiritual state of the Meeting and its Meetings for Worship. The Healing and Reconciliation Committee undertakes activities such as the interruption of hurtful exchanges, active listening to help find ways toward spirit-led harmony in situations of conflict, and taking actions to foster healing and reconciliation. In addition to addressing specific incidents and situations that arise, the Committee may work more generally to nurture the spiritual state of the Meeting as it relates to the way we address and resolve conflicts, and to help make our peace testimony a reality in the life of the Meeting community. The Committee may recommend long-term actions to the Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business and other Meeting Committees, but it does not itself undertake any actions other than those directed toward healing and reconciliation.
Our work is confidential and can therefore be discussed only in general terms. We work extensively with individuals involved in various incidents and misunderstandings. Some in the Meeting have expressed impatience with the repetitive pattern of incidents and insensitive remarks, and seek some final resolutions to end these. Such resolutions are very difficult to achieve within the context of our complex community. As far back as 2003, the Meeting minuted the declaration that “deliberately hurtful behavior toward any member, attender or guest during any Meeting activity is not acceptable.” As a practical matter however, given the testimonies of the Society of Friends, our Meeting has tacitly accepted such behavior by continuing to include in our community Friends who are likely to repeat it. The committee struggles to help meeting members accept others for the gifts they can bring and to understand limitations and challenges. We seek to reduce hurt, increase understanding and foster reconciliation among our community with all its limitations and shortcomings.
The Committee believes that its work has been helpful, but we need to focus especially on that part of our charge that calls for us to intervene to limit disruptions as they occur. Experience suggests that intervening to limit disruptive behavior is difficult when the person who intervenes is perceived as having no authority to make decisions on behalf of the community (for example, to request participants to leave an event or leave the Meeting property for a time). This is helping us to deepen our understanding of ahimsa (nonviolence) and its practice.
Much of our effort in the past year has been devoted to attempts to heal longstanding rifts exposed -- and to some extent inadvertently exacerbated or created--by our involvement, along with that of other committees, in seeking to protect our community while welcoming seekers with histories of sexual abuse to our Meeting. A comprehensive report of the activities of H&R, other committees and many individuals in our Meeting community taken in this regard, was provided several months ago. Those efforts continue.
In addition to our work with individuals, we have had extensive discussions and consulted with others about how Quakers can and should appropriately manage and respond to conflict, hurt and reconciliation. We held a community building workshop in January, 2012, which was well received. We hope to build on that with other sessions as time and energy allow.
Gray Handley and Merry Pearlstein, co-Clerks,
Debby Churchman, Bill Cousins, David Etheridge, Neil Froemming, Marsha Holliday, Diane McDougall and Marcia Reecer.
Update, First Day School, 3.10.13
In February and early March FDS and youth programming accomplished many things. Highlights include:
· The Tween classroom forming its own identity in The North Room.
· The Elementary classroom moved to the refreshed Terrace Room.
· We had a very well, and diversely, attended Visioning Session, following a community survey for FDS, where we noted, mainly, the obvious commitment of our whole Friends community to intergenerational cohesiveness and cooperation and growth.
· First Day School included a ski trip and, in the Elementary classroom, discussions and activities on the power of love between people to bring peace in the world, the steps to conflict resolution, differences between people as the strengths we rely on in community, and the coming of Spring and renewed life. In the Tween classroom discussions have become more open ended -- and pull greatly from the adult community -- though, in addition to the ski trip, they discussed Quaker responses to bullying as part of their new "Quaker Conversation" series and did service in the making of food for homeless neighbors.
· Interest in volunteering with FDS among adults in our community is on the rise.
Challenges we are facing in FDS and youth programming currently include:
· Learning and addressing community expectations around how we act on our desire to love one another with respect to boundaries, limitations, needs, and unbounded joys
· Childcare during after-Meeting events, such as committee meetings and Meeting for Business, for all ages of children who require it.
· Splitting the elementary aged classroom into two classes, to best serve everyone's needs
· The ongoing development of a curriculum and a teacher support system.
Non-designated Fund
Individual Contributors:
Members – 234 with an average contribution of $630 a year
Attenders – 156 with an average contribution of $330 a year
Total- 390 with an average contribution of $510 a year
Member families who do not contribute:
In DC, MD or VA 84 families
Outside DC, MD or VA 65 families
Total 149 families
Attender families who do not contribute:
Approximately 200 to 300 families
Auto-donors:
There are 108 Auto-donors among the contributors. These auto-donors account for about half of the non-designated income.
Annual Giving to Friends Meeting of Washington
|
Fiscal Year |
Budgeted |
Actual |
Shortfall |
|
2009 |
$250,000 |
$240,000 |
$10,000 |
|
2010 |
225,000 |
227,000 |
None |
|
2011 |
230,000 |
232,000 |
None |
|
2012 |
236,000 |
214,000 |
22,000 |
|
2013 |
236,000 |
203,000* |
33,000 |
* Projected from 8 months to year.
Stewardship Talk at Meeting for Business, March 10, 2013
Finance & Stewardship has been going through a bit of soul searching about the "Stewardship" part of our committee title. As I was drafting what I would say at today's meeting, I felt a bit like this was a coming out of the closet letter...and perhaps an invitation for you as you listen to it to come out of the closet as well.
Stewardship is a seriously neglected topic in our meeting, of late -- I can't speak to long-term -- and a seriously misunderstood topic.
There seems to have been a thought for a long while now that 1) we have resources, 2) we use them with integrity, 3) we're good people!, and therefore 4) that's stewardship!
It isn't, though. What we've been doing fails a fundamental stewardship test. It encumbers instead of setting free. I hope some of this comment will shed further light on this statement but am not sure that will get fully resolved at this point.
Stewardship is taking care of what the Lord / the Divine Source / the Light of Christ gives -- pick your language, and yes, let's own that truth is a Mystery, but it is a Divine mystery, a Holy mystery that comes from a Holy Source....the Source of All Light. As we come to know that, then we too come from a Holy Source and express that in the world.
As we focus on "we're good people!", we don't listen -- not all the way to the Source. We're very clear on things then, because we can't hear it.
We have missions then, but they can't fly, not like they are supposed to. We have hearts then, but they remain disappointed.
Stewardship (as I am asking you to understand it) is not rejecting the notion that we are good people -- but it IS getting over ourselves, and hearing that there is a deeper source within us, a divine source, that All must be tied to in order to profit.
As a human being we are good, but not because we are free and whatever we want, goes. I am good, AS I am filled with Light. Only as I am filled with Light. Dare, please, to trust in a deeper place within than we usually dare to go.
The Finance & Stewardship committee has been doing some soul searching recently and some humbling work of realizing how much we don't know about who we are. There are ways in which our role has shifted from "making assumptions" (as we all do for the routine functioning of the meeting) to challenging ourselves as a committee with the mystery of who we are here at FMW... challenging ourselves to not-know: with extensive data gathering, with an upcoming internal survey to those who work with funds and fundraising here at the meeting, with a preliminary discussion of focus groups and 3-year plans....We are discerning the Spirit of our money.
Let's let go, together, of our deep needs to know already, to be good already, to be seen as good, to be right, to be seen as right, and maybe even, on the stewardship topic, our need to be private about our finances?? Whatever may be our sacred cow that keeps us from an authentic journey together into the Source of all being...and the Source of all healing for our Meeting. Let's explore together what we are funding.
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Learn and practice yoga every Tuesday,6:30 pm – 7:45 pm at William Penn House, 515 East Capitol St, taught by FMW Member Elizabeth Goodman. A portion of the proceeds for every student attending supports the work of William Penn House. Class conducted group practice style. Includes therapeutic applications whatever level of yoga you practice. Modifications offered for all students as needed to make the poses more accessible or more challenging depending on your level.
Grate Patrol packs and delivers 120 bag lunches and soup to people living on the street on Wednesday, April 3. Soup or chili is made in the afternoon. At 5:30 PM we start making sandwiches and packing the lunch bags. At 7 PM, we load the van and one or two people go out on delivery for about an hour. You’re welcome to help out with any or all of these things. Call Steve Brooks 240-328-5439 or email sbrooks@uab.edu for more information.
Come to S.O.M.E. on Saturday, April 6 at 6:15 AM and be prepared to flip pancakes and help prepare breakfast for our vulnerable neighbors. The kitchen is at 70 “0” St. NW, adjacent to a parking lot. For more information and to sign up, contact Betsy Bramon at betsy.bramon@gmail.com
Come to a workshop on Walking Meditation on Saturday, April 6 from 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM at the Friends Wilderness Center near Harper’s Ferry, WV. See their website for details: www.friendswilderness.org
Stop by the table in the Assembly Room and participate in Amnesty International Letter Writing on Sunday, April 7 at rise of Meeting.
Movie Time! Come to a two-part showing of “Amazing Grace” on Sunday, April 7 in the North Room and Sunday, April 21 in the Assembly Room. The movie is based on the life of 19th century British anti-slavery pioneer William Wilberforce.
Joyce Ajlouny, Director, Ramallah Friends School, will be speaking at Bethesda Friends Meeting on Sunday, April 7 at 12:30 pm and at Sandy Spring Friends Meeting on Sunday, April 21 at 1:15 PM.
You are invited to attend a potluck and Quaker dialogue at 6:30 PM on Sunday, April 7 at the William Penn House, 515 East Capitol Street SE, Washington, DC. Our Program this First Day is presented by FMW Attender Karen Grisez, who will speak about immigration and community. Potluck starts at 6:30, presentation begins at 7:00 PM.
Come to a monthly worship and potluck on Tuesday, April 9. Bring a dish to share. Worship starts at 6:30 PM; potluck begins at 7:00 PM.
You are welcome to join a meeting of the DC Climate Support Network on Wednesday, April 10 at 7:00 PM. For more information, please contact Jim at 520-250-509, JimDriscoll@NIPSPeerSupport.org or go to www.NIPSPeerSupport.org
On Saturday, April 13, there will be an introduction to Qi Gong at the Friends Wilderness Center near Harper’s Ferry, WV. See their website for details: www.friendswilderness.org
There will be a Young Friends Conference for Quaker teens from April 19 to 21 at Maury River Friends Meeting in Lexington, VA. For more information, check http://yf.bym-rsf.net/
On Saturday, April 20, there will be aSpring Work Day at Friends Wilderness Center.See their website for details: www.friendswilderness.org
On Sunday, April 28 at Bethesda Friends Meeting, Friends will discuss the TransitionTownMovement.Quakers in New England (specifically, the Meeting in Putney, VT) are active in the Transition Movement (as in transition to a post-carbon lifestyle). Marcia Brown will introduce us to this very positive, empowering approach to addressing both climate change and peak oil For details, see their website.
There will be a Spring Work Weekend at Catoctin Quaker Camp on May 4 and 5. For more information, go to http://bymcamps.org/wp/friends-service-weekends-spring-2013/
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A monthly series of edited extracts from the historical material of the Friends Meeting of Washington.
From the MfB minutes, March 1932:
The Meeting had great sympathy with Esther Morton Smith's concern to visit Governor Miller of Alabama to intercede for the negro prisoners held at Scottsboro, and sends with her the following letter expressive of our feeling:
"The Friends Meeting of Washington, D.C., wishes to send a message of friendly greeting to Gov. Miller and to express their appreciation of the protection accorded by him to the eight young negro men now held in jail at Scottsboro under sentence of death. We would express our hope and belief that Gov. Miller will continue to exercise his influence toward justice and fair dealing regarding these young men.
"Such an example will inspire courage in his follow countrymen and will uphold public confidence in the administration of law.
"Daniel N. Shoemaker, Clerk
"S. Constance Philpitt, Ass't Cl."
The meeting used to used to send letters with great frequency to various public officials and bureaus (including lots to Congress and the President) expressing opinions on various issues. The creation of AFSC largely took this activity off of our hands.
Hayden Wetzel, FMW Historian
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Come to the Library! Whether you're new to Quakerism, or have been a Friend for many years, the Friends Meeting of Washington has great resources that may be able to help you on your spiritual journey. Our collection includes books on mysticism, spirituality, sexuality, parenting, and other topics. Our meeting also subscribes to the Pendle Hill Pamphlets series and numerous Quaker periodicals, including Friends Journal and Quaker Life. All of the library's resources can easily be found through our online catalog (http://www.librarything.com/catalog/FMWLibrary). If you don't have time to browse the library, the Library's page on the FMW website contains links to several free Ebooks on Quakers and Quakerism, including works by early friends such as George Fox, Robert Barclay, and William Penn.
The Mary Walcott Lucy Foster Education Fund will accept requests for limited financial assistance to attend a Friends’ school, PK to 12th grade, for children of members and active attenders of Washington area Meetings. Please forward a brief written request, a copy of the school’s Parents’ Financial Statement & Report of Financial Need, and most recent IRS Forum 1040 to Bruce Kellogg, MWLF Ed Fund, 1202 Half St. SW, Washington, DC 20024. Friends are invited to contribute to the MWLF Education Fund. Even small amounts make a difference.
Auto Donor Appeal – Friends Meeting of Washington offers a program for you to authorize automatic monthly electronic contributions to FMW directly from your bank account or credit card. This convenient option helps take the hassle out of remembering to write a separate check or carry cash, and saves the trouble of playing “catch up” at the end of the year to a tax deductible contribution. It also benefits FMW by maintaining a regular level of support for our critical ministries and operations throughout the year. With this option you will remain completely in control of your funds at all times. You choose the amount of your contribution and then pre-authorize withdrawal of only that amount each month. On the 1st or 15th of every month, your gift is automatically withdrawn from your account and is then deposited into FMW’s bank account. Changes can be made at any time by contacting the Bookkeeper, Laurie Wilner. Please notify Laurie of any change, by email or letter, at least two weeks prior to your scheduled donation for the change to apply to that month’s gift.
Please consider enrolling in this program. To do so, go to our website (http://quakersdc.org) and click the donate tab at the top of the page; simply select “Monthly” from the “Gift Frequency” drop-down list.
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March began with the arrival of the much-anticipated Defibrillator, with its handy case. The case is now mounted on the back wall of the Assembly Room in the hope that it is visible to all. Personal Aid is arranging for volunteer training, starting Easter Sunday. Talk about resurrection!
School for Friends continues to bless us here at FMW. The four-year-olds have started coming every couple of weeks to try out Silence in the Meeting Room; the whole energy in the Meetinghouse changes and blossoms when they’re here. And this month, volunteers from the school produced a bountiful “simple meal” at rise of worship, helping to raise scholarship monies for the School—a win/win for the Meeting.
Hello, kitty! This appealing kitten-decorated barrette is a genuine FMW antique, retrieved by Ken Orvis from the top of the sounding board in the Meeting Room where it was tossed by some young Friend fifty or sixty years ago. For the record, I didn’t do it.
This month, we finished FMW’s head-long pursuit of Facebook by creating one for the whole community, mostly thanks to the awesome Kathy Brandt. Booyah! Hope you “like” us. Check it out here: facebook.com/friendsmeetingofwashington
Also found this month, covered with generations of dust and debris, was this long-lost volume, copyright 1916. The first chapter is entitled “Heart Burnings,” and the rest of it goes on very much along those lines. Hoping some Friend will step forward, read the thing, and let us know if George actually got his “good tramp.”
At the tail end of a winter that never seemed to quit, two viruses have been chewing their way through the Meeting—a stomach flu called the norovirus, and a special lung infection from Hong Kong; both of them obnoxious. Please stay healthy! Many thanks to all who pitched in while I was ill—especially Michael Cronin, Steve Williams, Tom Libbert, Malachy Kilbride, Laurie Wilner, and Ken Orvis. The Quaker village is alive and well.
- Debby